mum's back to normal, which i hope is a good sign. and i breathe easy again.

i'm always going out when i'm not working, which makes me feel i dont spend enough time with my family. and then when i want to ask permission to go out late or go somewhere, i feel guilty and hence cant ask the question bravely, properly. but i get it when they disapprove or nag, cause if i put myself in their shoes, they just want me to rest more at home, sleep earlier, do something more useful than just going out and spend money.

i don't want to feel that i've let myself down, or neglected some people when i've reached the end of my holidays. i thought holidays should be a time to spend with my loved ones, and be more attentive to them. i want to show my love and concern with actions, not just words. i want to be able to provide comfort or company to friends and family!

i want to be a better person.